Learn to Forgive Yourself.

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Learning to forgive yourself for messing up.

The happiest people are those who learn to let go of what they cannot change. We are human beings and we are juggling so many things in life, we are bound to make mistakes. Even stupid ones. We have to learn to forgive ourselves.

Guys, we are all going to keep making mistakes, for as long as we live, so let’s get used to it. Be kind to yourself, and let yourself off the hook sometimes. We are flawed human beings. We were never created to be perfect. Cut yourself some slack today. Look at your mistake as a teachable moment, turn it into a learning experience, that was the purpose for it happening to begin with.

PARENTS: It is so vital to not condemn your kids for making mistakes. I know sometimes it can be inconvenient, but whatever it is, be mindful. We don’t want to teach them how to condemn themselves, but rather how to forgive themselves. What we do today, will impact the way they see and treat themselves as they get older. Now that being said, we will have our moments where we lose it. I know this first hand, however, I forgive myself for raising my voice, and I apologize. I’m not perfect. I then use it as a teachable moment for both my child and me. So, when you find yourself overreacting, just ensure you have a conversation about it, and keep trying to handle it better next time. Us being kind to ourselves will teach our kids that no one is perfect and it’s ok to make mistakes and to forgive themselves.  

So, what do you do?

  1. Acknowledge you messed up, own it…
  2. Allow yourself to feel disappointed, but not for too long. It’s ok to feel bad for a bit.
  3. Apologize if it affected others, but don’t overdo it. If they can’t let it go, then that’s their journey, not yours. You’ve done your part.
  4. Do not dwell on it and keep things in perspective. (Don’t make a mountain out of a molehill.)
  5. Do not condemn yourself, but rather forgive yourself. Be kind to yourself. Even if this means you tell yourself 10 things you’ve done, that makes you feel super good about yourself. Think about these things every time that bad feeling comes back. So, you stop that negativity in its tracks. Say: “ENOUGH NOW! I am an awesome human being who made a mistake.”
  6. If it’s a mistake that involved others, have a game plan moving forward, by evaluating what you could do differently next time.
  7. Earn back trust, if that’s what’s required. Do not force it, just prove that you are to be trusted and depended upon. You will grow through this process too, for sure.

In conclusion. Be kind and loving toward yourself when you mess up, everybody does. And remember that the happiest people also make mistakes, the difference is, they have learned to forgive themselves real fast.

@Coaching2Counselling

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